"Gentlemen, if you want a profession in which everything is certain, you had better give up medicine"
Please visit my Urdu blog at http://saugoreebsc.blogspot.com/ and my Hindi blog at http://wahajuana.blogspot.com/
Saugoree means I was born or I hail from Saugor This is the way they spelt the name of that city of my birth during British days of India. Then I moved at 11 years of age to Kotla a village in the Panjab close to the Kashmir border where I finished my initial education and childhood going on to Lahore for further studies where I got BSc and MBBS and then left for NWFP where I spent 2 1/2 years, teaching in the new Medical School, and from there leaving for UK and then USA
All day long there has been talk about this surprise for President Obama who was himself surprised. It is all understandable. The impromptu Republican leader bellows like only he can on TV, it is a joke. They all say what has Obama accomplished and fail to see his total approach, his vision his ability to turn tides in favor of America while the whole world was booing Bush just a year ago.
No doubt he has laid down such policies that will augur well for the future world and will be seeing results long after he is passed the office. Iran is talking directly and has revealed second installation to the world, Korea is talking and declared no-Bomb, Qadzafi has visited US Iraq is turning towards peacefulness and I feel sure Afghanistan and Pakistan will turn that way in the near future. I only wish that real Taliban with peaceful approach rather than the “apparent Taliban with a gun in the hand” will be successful, on the table rather than on the battlefield.
Listening to everybody about his/her take on this Nobel prize is like a Rorschach’s inkblot, telling more about the commentator’s personality rather than Obama’s prize.
Sunday Eids are better enjoyed and more widely attended for obvious reasons and this one (if you all had it Sunday and not Monday) is no exception.
Eid mubarak to all my readers who are Muslims
Each Muslim country has its own traditions for these celebrations and we see this wonderful variety all over. Get to-gethers and wishes are shared by all however and everybody gives the friends and relatives an “embrace”. So I picked up a joke in our gathering
Imam Saheb was given some remuneration or gift after finishing Taraweeh prayers and felt he was not adequately compensated so he said nothing. He led the prayers as usual and went into sajda with the Muqtadee(Followers) doing the same but they remained in sajda for some time and there was no more Allah-o-akbar to get them out of sajda.
Then they realized, the Imam was gone.
There are some horrible stories about what happens to the elderly of immigrants in USA and as always there are two sides of the story.
Once we were in a group to discuss (Brain-storming session) what is the “future” plan for the elderly (Muslims) in our society?
I found out we had very poor knowledge about this and had very little to offer, in the way of practical suggestions. Let me start from (what we did on that day)
“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but HIM and that ye be kind to parents, whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, Say not to them a word of contempt nor repel them but address them in terms of honor
And out of kindness lower to them the wing of humility and say, My Lord! bestow on them Thy mercy even as they cherished me in my childhood “. Verses 23 and 24 from Sura # 17, Bani Israeel
Much has been done in tafseer of these verses and these verses reflect the main cultural value of parents in our society. How to deal with it in THIS country is a different matter. I believe that Verses are not time related they are true for all times and all societies including USA today. The reality, however, is that the way of life here is such that elderly are not tolerated when they retire and are less-functioning or otherwise an nuisance to live with. Whatever the situation respect should never be lost. Daughter-in-laws are frequent sources of such happening even though the “privacy” may not be as helpful as perceived. After all the daughter in law, herself, will get to that age also given the time and mothers mother-in-laws and fathers father-in-laws will be roles all “children” will take over one day. The cycle will go on.
So does an “Old people’s Home”, form an answer?
I do not know but worth considering at least in selected cases. I personally would hate to be in that situation but at (almost 76) my age I am up and about and able to take care of myself and do not have the usual old age ailments other than mild“arthritis”. Language, friends, surroundings, and TV and computer are all good investments but all in my age cannot operate these gadgets or cannot afford. I have, for instance, spent lot of money to be able to spend just a few hours with my old friends even for travelling long distances and even to Pakistan. These are all personal solutions and not a prescription for all.
Old peoples homes are notoriously ill-equipped, poorly staffed or staffed with poorly trained and even rude personnel etc. etc. So when your parents God-forbid are sick or unhealthy or disabled what are the choices?
I do not know we have a clearly definable prescription. Individual decisions tailored to the families and their circumstances would be the rule.
Unfortunately the “daughter-in-law” gets the bad name and she is therefore under greater pressure from all sides. I am afraid I have very little to go on for taking her side because no matter how you see it a son has a responsibility for his parents for in most situations he as well as his wife owe everything to them. The “parent of “home-less to Harvard” kind child are not common but most immigrant parents have sacrificed much to give their children the life they enjoy. No doubt this is a society for single families and individualistic but some compromise must be created at least for,at least, one or two generations.
I have only touched upon one or two aspects of this multi-faceted question and am still undecided about “solutions” Old people’s home or your own home? There is no doubt if you keep own“home”, the rewards are tremendous especially in the hereafter, they may be a source of key to your Paradise. That is the Islamic understanding or teaching.
Today we celebrate the “4th of July” of Pakistan. the very first day I remember was actually celebrated on the 15th of August in the whole India-Pakistan.
All my Pakistani brothers and sisters, I wish you all the happiness. Traditionally we do it on 14th and Indians do it on 15th.
This is the British way of separation. It has worked. We have been at each other’s throat ever since and as a result I see India has advanced better than Pakistan. While we celebrate let us pledge that we will catch up with and exceed that ( Indian) progress in all spheres (the good ones I mean)
Pakistan Paenda baad