JUM'AH JOURNAL--Polygamy and Islam

In my last comment of the blog's respomses, I raised a quesion,
"Would a man be doing wrong to a wife if he brings another wife without having any reason other than the fact he is allowed as a Muslim to have more than one wife" Or something to that effect.
Well, no response to it so far. Maybe my question is uncalled for or too dumb or too ticklish, whatever. No doubt, it is a serious question and needs more careful approach. Maybe blogistan is no place for such discussion.
I have no credentials of being a scholar. I am not very daring to tackle such tender question. I have lived in East and West and have my own ideas but I wish to state clearly that I have no inclination to annoy you or underestimate your intelligence and yet I am taking up such answer, call it naivety or foolishness. Like all others I do wish to pray to Allah to forgive me my inept understanding and guide me to the correct way. I also would like you to alert me on my misunderstandings or mis-interpretations.
No doubt you are all familiar with the ayat which allow Muslim male to have more than one wife and I'll encourage you to look at the translation and tafseer of 3rd aya of the 4th sura (Nisa) and then also look at last part of 19th aya and 21st aya of S. Room (30th sura).
There are more ayat for reference but let me talk about these today.
Injustice with orphan girls (by marrying one because of her riches to get away with a nominal Mahr) is prevented by the same aya which allows up to four (other women) to take as wives. There is justice necessary for each wife (equality in everything which may be next to impossible) and if unable to do so, only one wife. That does not necessarily mean it is 'impossible' for you to have more than one but it is almost correct which may also be considered exaggeration.
God has asked you to make life with a woman in a customarily and traditionally right and acceptable way keeping in mind the justice and balance of powers (what I understand with the word "m'aruf"). God has created 'love and compassion' between you so you seek tranquility with her. God describes man and woman as "Libas" (garment) for each other which is a good way of describing how man should cover her defects and she covers his defects to make them look nice (and feel good about each other).
It is understood that no two persons are equal and of absolutely perfect understanding so there is alway ground for difference of opinion, understanding and how one wants to handle a situation. To be honest with one another the two must have a compromise about the situation so that none of the two appears to be 'overpowering' just because he has"superiority of some kind or she has superiority of some kind" Man's superiority is spoken of more in Qur'an than that of woman's. I cant go into details but taking man's 'superiority' as such, does it allow him to aggressively seek obedience from wife and would it be "justice" (remember that is the most important part of man-woman realtionship in the marital bondage) If the man has "love and compassion" for the wife how should he make it out, certainly not by ruling with an iron fist.
I am sure you have many other examples and views but to answer that original question I feel with these understandings that the man will do wrong to his wife if he brings a second wife against her wishes. You are quite welcome to differ with me)
Also consider two examples here.
When the prophet SAWS heard that Ali RA wanted to marry daughter of Abu Jahl during the life of Fatima RA, he was upset and said openly that he would dislike it for her. Last part of his statement (reportedly in "Bokhari" kitabun-nikah).. "I do not permit it (3 times). If Ali divorces my daughter and marries their daughter he has the right. My daughter is part of myself. Whatever harms her harms me; whatever hurts her, hurts me"
Remember also that the prophet was married to Khadija RA for 25 or more years and did not think of taking a second wife even though it was customary in his times before and after the institution of his prophethood. (Ali RA did not marry again until after the death of Fatima RA)
Also, the prophet did not marry again until his wife (Khadija RA) died. Then also there were exceptions for him as Allah SWT says in S. 33 (Ahzab) aya 50.
I gess there are lessons here which support my feeling as expressed above.