Feminism and my age

 Born 22 Jumad-al-thani 1352 Hijra. (this isJumadaII 1433)
Makes me feel old but I have wanted to write about feminism and Islam and how does gender equity fit in with this concept. That is nothing to do with MOTHERS DAY today  and  a month later will be father's day and so is the difference maintained; genders are meant to be different but equal. First the points from Qur'an-el-Hakeem:
"Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods. Nor is it lawful for them to hide what Allah hath created in their wombs, if they have faith in Allah and the Last day. And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period if they wish  reconciliation. AND THE WOMEN SHALL HAVE RIGHTS SIMILAR TO THE RIGHTS AGAINST THEM, according to what is equitable BUT MEN HAVE A DEGREE (of advantage) OVER THEM, and Allah is exalted in power,Wise." Al-Baqara Aya 228
 and then Aya 34 of Alnisaa
"Men are the "PROTECTORS AND MAINTAINERS (Qawwam) of women because Allah has given the one more (Strength?) than the other and because they SUPPORT THEM FROM THEIR MEANS Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard (in their husband's absence) what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct (Nushooz), admonish them (first), )next) refuse to share their beds and (last) beat them lightly but if they return to obedience , seek not against them means (of annoyance), for Allah is Most High, Great (above you all)
As I understand from the quoted verses, Allah is giving instructions to husband and wife who have marital problems in which clearly stated a degree superiority to husband is accorded. This is NOT a question of  men and women in general. Allah is swift to mention however that women (wives) have similar rights to those of men (husbands), leaving the stated condition where a degree of superiority is applicable that is as I see the right of taking back his wife whenever he wants to during the time of divorce (the three monthly periods), meaning thereby that wife, even if she wants to does not have THAT right of taking back the husband--in other words 'she is on the receiving end', for obvious reasons as it is the husband who has declared the divorce, not the wife. This does not mean wife has no right to divorce which is a subject not covered in these ayat except the all-important statement-women shall have the same rights as men ACCORDING TO WHAT IS EQUITABLE (Maaroof). Secondly if there "marital discord" (Nushooz) what should be the husbands conduct. Here the word marital conduct is translated by all translators as disloyalty, disobedience of wife which indicates to me that all translators all males and they all tend to ignore the true meanings and stick with such interpretation and in tafseers all go on to say
"because women are inferior in strength and intelligence".
 I agree with bodily strength being superior in general but I am not sure about the intelligence. Most writers bring out some such statements of Qur'an in support: ".. .. .. .. and get two witnesses out of your own men and if there are not two men then a man and two women such as ye choose for witnesses so that if one of them errs, the other can remind her. . . . ." (Verse 282 of Al-Baqara.) To most writers that means the women have poor memory as compared to men and along with that the intelligence also suffers. To me that is outrageous because that is NOT what the creator is saying. Evidently women are not used to making such contracts or business ventures etc. (Some women of today however do not conform to that statement) and so they are likely to forget just as a man who is asked to do something that 'usually' done by women is likely to forget. Commentators pair this with woman getting half of man's share of inheritance to reach an easy conclusion that women is half as intelligent as man. Such is not the case as the reasons for half the share have nothing to do with memory or intelligence etc.
 Individual men and individual women are equal in everything except in physical attributes and in their temperaments etc. and these differences result in some rights of husbands being different.
 To refute the feministic claim however, I want to challenge everybody that the CREATOR DID NOT SAY THE WOMEN HAVE HIGHER DEGREE OVER MEN (and also did not say women can spank men when they "noshooz")  but made that statement in favor of the men (husband) only. However if Nushooz is translated as disobedience of wife making her liable to punishment that is NOT correct inference because Nushooz is applicable to both husband and wife and better understanding is discord rather than disloyalty and disobedience. The method described in the Qur'an as to how to deal with that "discord" is different for husband than that for wife. The reason for that is the contract of marriage and its applicability is such. If you will forgive me and open up the question of this contract I suggest you look up on Prof. Aziza al-Hibri's concerns who is aware of problems of these contracts and proposes to write contracts differently yet ACCORDING TO ISLAMIC TEACHINGS. The rights given by Islam to women and to wives are not fully understood or practiced. ( I agree with her in general)
 That I feel is because of lack of "Feminism" amongst the Muslim men in general.
 Having said that I would like to state that Husband and wife are two different genders and have different roles to play for harmony of married life, which is intended and NOT the forced roles given to each gender that seems to be the feminist's proposition. Would you then force your female child to  play with guns and ball and force your male child to play with dolls? A female child is interested in make up and clothes but how are you going to create that in your male child?
 These days "single parents" have shown the man can look after and raise a daughter and a woman can raise a boy with efficiency. That only means if a man is forced by circumstances to do things usually expected of a woman he can do it and likewise when a woman is forced by circumstances to do things usually expected of a man she can do it. Both have the ability and in THAT ABILITY THEY ARE EQUAL. A man can do everything except become pregnant and a woman can do everything except make her partner pregnant. Those are biological differences which are not the subject of discussion.
 In any case a marriage contract is between two PERSONS who must make their 'division of labor' of their "home-government" that suits THEM and here the Harmony is the goal ; if too much 'masculinism' (if you will) interferes with harmony it is wrong, just like if too much feminism interferes with harmony it would be wrong The 'rules' should bend to produce harmony which cannot be forced. Harmony will result from how much "feminism" is tolerated by husband or how much lack of feminism is tolerated by wife.
Happy mother's day to all mothers.

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