Late Sunday Surkhi--Talaq

Well, folks today being the famous  11th day of the 10th month you will forgive me for being lazy and to tell you the truth I was very busy on this sunday which fell on the special date of 10.10.10
 One new couple was celebrating their wedding and then we had another important engagement.
 Anyway so here I am and I thought I may write a bit more on this subject of Talaq.
Talaq or divorec often brings to your mind fighting bickering between the spouses and families etc, including court procedures which bring substance to the lawyers like, some lawyer said to his wife,
 "honey wait till I get this couple finish their divorce and then I'll get you that pearl necklace"  (or something like that.)
  The teachings of Qur'an tell us,
 "When ye divorce women and they fulfill the term of their Iddah either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms..................." (#231 of S. Baqara)
 This "equitable terms" is very significant. 
The other verse (#229) "Divorce is only permissible twice (goes on to say) after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness,.........."
 The word in Arabic is "m'aroof" which is translated as "equitable terms" by Yusuf Ali and Asad renders it "in a fair manner"
  This is the important aspect I wish to single out here because there is so much ill-feeling and inclination to hurt the other party which is why Qur'an emphasizes "fair manner". In more clear words, do not fight or hurt but separate with kindness,
MEN ARE ADVISED NOT TO TAKE BACK THEIR GIFTS OR OTHER THINGS WHICH HAVE BEEN GIVEN TO HER
 Once parting has been decided by both plan the separation on good terms. men should not only let the women keep what is their share and their gifts but should give them additional "parting gift", that is what I understand by the word IHSAN "kindness", does not completely convey the total significance of Ihsan.
 Verses #236 1nd 237 indicate'

"there is no blame on you, if you divorce women before consummation or fixation of their dower, but bestow on them (a suitable gift); a wealthy according to his means and the poor according to his means;--a gift of a reasonable amount is due from those who do the right things"
"And if ye divorce before summation but after the fixation of dower, then half of the dower (is due to the women), unless they remit it, or (the man's half) is remitted by him in whose hands is the marriage tie and the remission (of man's half) is the nearest to righteousness- and do not forget liberality between yourselves,  (that is the men and the women involved in this process), for Allah sees well all that ye do"

I have done my own Italics to indicate that aspect Allah is insisting upon the two parties how to be fair  .
These are the aspects of divorce that we are less likely to pay attention to and I think they are very very important for "doing the thing in a right way" both the men and women divorcing each other are warned "to be fair with each other". The word is "fadla bainakum" which Asad renders it as "And forget not that you are to act with grace towards each other".
   I have seen too many divorces in my life and seen the effects and after effects etc. of divorces and that is my reason for emphasis on this aspect although I know very well how difficult it is for the two parties to follow the Qur'anic instructions. I have seen even those who have good knowledge of sharia and Qur'an and they ignore these teachings with no remorse. The families suffer the children of the divorcing couple suffer and....
well you know all these unpleasant things I dont have count.

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