Well not just USA but anywhere these days really but specifically in the West.
it is becoming a huge challenge because there are so many teachers and guides for a child these days that parents take a back seat almost in any family (may be a bit exaggeration). There is
Mr. Computer
and all his friends, colleagues subordinates or whatever you call them grouped in one word:
" Media" so that this has become more meaningful than it was in older times; like now it has print media, electronic media like TV, radio and movies are all now included in media and
the electronic gadgets available these days range from the old radios to Ipods. Itunes, I phone I pads iTablets and many i-somethings I do not know yet and may be forthcoming in future.
To cut the story short there are those more influential machines that provide the guidance to the young ones today and they rely more heavily on them than on any older persons like fathers or mothers or uncles etc. -one of those who are considered by the young ones completely ignorant and incapable of understanding the information even if given to them from these "Guides"
Just look at the way the father of the most honored and decorated young star of the music world ever in the history treated this youngster. What makes me wonder is that he himself was not necessarily a novice in music and why did he have so much difficulty in realizing the young talent in his own house and beat him up for not doing his way of music. Poor Michael (I am writing one day after Michael Jackson's death), but maybe his father gives credit to himself that he is responsible for the stardom of Michael.
I am going away from the point.
These media can make you believe in the most impossible things, and they are so ubiquitous. Parents sorely suffer from the lack or paucity of time, time to spend with the kids these days that they might as well be absent.
As I wrote in my previous note about pre birth and post birth notes (2/24/07, 3/11/07 and 3/16/07) of rearing babies, they must consider that time to be extremely precious when the baby is totally dependent on parents. As soon as TV and computer takes over parents have lost it unless they strive to maintain their control of time for this and time for that with the child. it is therefore of utmost importance to have the following :
Maintain a continuing communication channel with the child
maintain a specific time table for the child to sit with or rather the parents to sit with child just for report of the day for friends and foes of the child the games they play and discussion of such interests (just 20 to 30 minutes may be sufficient but it all depends upon how much time the child can afford
(NOT how much time the parents can afford--they must always afford that time, no ifs and buts, period)
This communication must continue even in episodic form when the child has gone away from home, graduated etc. (may be to the end of your life).
This can work ONLY if the child has in the long run realized that parents do have knowledge and it is worth sharing with them. In other words parents have to be smarter (they usually are) than children and make the children believe there is more to it in the knowledge than the media.
Once the child has gone away from home (dorms) at the university level he/she has their own sphere in which to move, parental and home effects are gone by that time.
So consider that time available to you as parents when the child is living at home with you to shape the future of your child and nurture as you wish. then make use of that very short time to the best of your ability, for you cannot blame the gadgetry or media.
To be continued
it is becoming a huge challenge because there are so many teachers and guides for a child these days that parents take a back seat almost in any family (may be a bit exaggeration). There is
Mr. Computer
and all his friends, colleagues subordinates or whatever you call them grouped in one word:
" Media" so that this has become more meaningful than it was in older times; like now it has print media, electronic media like TV, radio and movies are all now included in media and
the electronic gadgets available these days range from the old radios to Ipods. Itunes, I phone I pads iTablets and many i-somethings I do not know yet and may be forthcoming in future.
To cut the story short there are those more influential machines that provide the guidance to the young ones today and they rely more heavily on them than on any older persons like fathers or mothers or uncles etc. -one of those who are considered by the young ones completely ignorant and incapable of understanding the information even if given to them from these "Guides"
Just look at the way the father of the most honored and decorated young star of the music world ever in the history treated this youngster. What makes me wonder is that he himself was not necessarily a novice in music and why did he have so much difficulty in realizing the young talent in his own house and beat him up for not doing his way of music. Poor Michael (I am writing one day after Michael Jackson's death), but maybe his father gives credit to himself that he is responsible for the stardom of Michael.
I am going away from the point.
These media can make you believe in the most impossible things, and they are so ubiquitous. Parents sorely suffer from the lack or paucity of time, time to spend with the kids these days that they might as well be absent.
As I wrote in my previous note about pre birth and post birth notes (2/24/07, 3/11/07 and 3/16/07) of rearing babies, they must consider that time to be extremely precious when the baby is totally dependent on parents. As soon as TV and computer takes over parents have lost it unless they strive to maintain their control of time for this and time for that with the child. it is therefore of utmost importance to have the following :
Maintain a continuing communication channel with the child
maintain a specific time table for the child to sit with or rather the parents to sit with child just for report of the day for friends and foes of the child the games they play and discussion of such interests (just 20 to 30 minutes may be sufficient but it all depends upon how much time the child can afford
(NOT how much time the parents can afford--they must always afford that time, no ifs and buts, period)
This communication must continue even in episodic form when the child has gone away from home, graduated etc. (may be to the end of your life).
This can work ONLY if the child has in the long run realized that parents do have knowledge and it is worth sharing with them. In other words parents have to be smarter (they usually are) than children and make the children believe there is more to it in the knowledge than the media.
Once the child has gone away from home (dorms) at the university level he/she has their own sphere in which to move, parental and home effects are gone by that time.
So consider that time available to you as parents when the child is living at home with you to shape the future of your child and nurture as you wish. then make use of that very short time to the best of your ability, for you cannot blame the gadgetry or media.
To be continued
6 comments:
very good post!
I agree with you sir wholeheartedly.In my experience,I used to go to my childs bedroom and lay down to hear the days events at school and on the playground..Even during college I called in the morning and at night to listen and to question the activities of the day.It has been my habit upto now.I feel I have achieved all this with a strong faith and prayers to the ALMIGHTY.MAy ALLAH SWT bless you for bringing this important topic up for today's young parents.Ameen
Thanks bhabi R'aana and mystic for your comments.
it is important that we sensitize our children now to face the problem with better preparedness inshallah
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